Ring in the New Year with your resolution of no more Minnesota Nice! As a hearty Minnesotan, I embrace Minnesota Nice. Let me use that in the past-tense…I used to be Minnesota Nice! No more. Minnesota Nice does not have a place on the Ah-Mazing Moms’ Healing Cancer Journey. Cancer is known to be rooted in resentment and suppressed emotions. It is time to wave buh-bye to Minnesota Nice and to welcome in Kindness for your healing cancer journey.
My sage aunt frequently shared with me that you do not want to be “nice.” Instead, you want to be “kind” to others.
Being nice usually means you are not being true to yourself. You are pleasing others. And, you are doing things you do not want to do…but you do not want to “rock the boat” so you choose to be Minnesota Nice because you feel it is what is expected of you.
On the other hand….
Kindness is genuine. It is joy-filled. Authentic. Real.
Everything that “nice” is not!
An Example of Kindness
Air Charity Network is a charitable organization that provides access for people in need who are seeking free air transportation to specialized health care facilities or distant destinations due to family, community, or national crisis.
Pilots sign up to donate their time, their plane, and their flying skills to bring cancer patients to their medical appointments. I see the pilots as “Angels of the Sky.” They are truly angels for generously providing their invaluable resources to help others in need.
The pictured pilot, John, flew his Cessna in January from Detroit, Michigan in a headwind through bitterly cold weather. It took him 4 hours to reach me in Minnesota. When John arrived, he was frozen but in good spirits. He chose to spend his Birthday flying me to my appointment!
During our flight, John and I talked through our head sets. He shared that he had recently earned a pin for 75 mission trips with Angel Flight Central. John’s current goal is to fly one patient a month. His future goal is to commit to one flight per week.
He does not volunteer because he has to…or, because he feels like he has to “to be nice.” Instead, John chooses to fly patients because he WANTS to!
John does not feel obligated to help others..big difference! This is KINDNESS!
And, kindness is healing! Being nice suppresses emotions and builds deep-seeded resentment.
As Angel Flight Central states in Our Mission:
…Our story is simple and powerful. When people do what they love, great things can be accomplished. Our volunteers repeatedly and generously share their love for flight to provide HELP and HOPE for families who are struggling financially, emotionally, and physically.
This is an example of genuine kindness!
Read more about these angels in my blog: Angels of the Sky
Cancer caused by resentment
The late Louise Hay wrote in her best-selling book, You Can Heal Your Life, that “CANCER is a dise-ease caused by deep resentment held for a long time until it literally eats away at the body.”
Being nice creates resentment because you are not being true to YOU. You say “yes” when you really mean ‘no.’ This sets off a cycle of guilt, shame, and remorse. And, the resentment starts to fester and grow. Eventually, it will grow into a dis-ease if left unchecked as Louise Hay shared.
Whereas, when you are being kind you are choosing to do what resonates with you instead of being pulled in a million directions doing the things you are “expected” to do.
In a nutshell…You are in control vs. others controlling you when you choose to be kind.
Being kind is EMPOWERING!
My former boss wisely told me, “It’s OK to respectfully decline.” Being Minnesota Nice, I felt that I always had to say “yes” when asked to do something. It is important to build healthy boundaries by being kind; not nice.
Read my blog on establishing boundaries if you also struggle in this area:Creating healthy boundaries
I think that is why I relate so well to our pets (2 rescue dogs and 2 rescue cats). They are true to themselves. No hidden agenda. No politics. No drama. Kind. Loving. Need I say more about pets and kindness? Our pets are dialed in and are the epitome of kindness!
Life is too short to be nice
It is not an easy change to make when people are expecting you to be “nice.” You may, however, respectfully decline, say “no,” and set boundaries in a healthy and loving manner. Simply explain why you cannot do something or politely say “no, thank you” with no reason if that is what you are comfortable with.
I am still learning how to be “kind” as Minnesota Nice is deeply engrained in my being. When I say “no,” I still give a reason…even if the reason really is not the other person’s business. Being nice is a habit that dies hard! I am finding it be a work in progress…baby steps.
Expect to feel uncomfortable. Expect people to look at you differently…
Expect good results when you choose KINDNESS!
The bottom-line is…it is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past time to wave buh-bye to Minnesota Nice!
Instead, embrace Kindness on your Ah-Mazing Moms’ Healing Cancer Journey!
Embody kindness and see your world transform. Louise Hay believed that learning to love and accept the self is the key to healing cancers.
Let the healing begin…drop the Minnesota Nice and fully become kindness! Your mind, spirit, and body will reap the benefits.
Being “nice” does not serve my higher good. I am true to myself and love myself by embracing kindness.