“I am sorry…but, you have cancer…again…,”my doctor shared.

 

Gloved Hand Holding Vial of Blood

Love is the greatest healing power I know. Love can heal even the deepest and most painful memories because love brings the light of understanding to the darkest corners of our hearts and minds. ~Louise Hay

 

Two years almost to the date, I have been diagnosed with breast cancer…again.

The first diagnosis completely caught me off-guard and ignited fearful thoughts within me: I am going to die. My kids will be without a mom. What will my husband do? I am too young to die.

With this second diagnosis…I know that I have a choice. I can approach my diagnosis with fear and fight my cancer OR I can view it from love and heal my DIS-EASE.

My choice is to approach my diagnosis with love and to heal my body. Love heals. It can melt away fears and replace those fears with peace, joy, and understanding.

Over the past two years on my cancer journey, I have learned a great deal from my doctors, my healing team, and other cancer patients. It has been a lot of work to move from a place of fear to one of love.

The lessons learned will be applied to my second cancer diagnosis and will be shared on my blog. My hope is others may learn to choose love on their journey.

Once diagnosed with cancer, many cancer survivors live in fear that they will be diagnosed with cancer again. The scans, tests, blood work are dreaded. We fearfully await the appointment and the results.

We do not have to live in fear. Instead, we are able to embrace our diagnosis and look at it with a new lens. This is an opportunity for a new life. This is the time to transform your life.

“If you have cancer, your body is trying to tell you something. Sit down, breathe, meditate, and ask yourself: What is my body trying to tell me?”

I know that my cancer returned because of stress. I was in remission for 1 year and 4 months. During this time of remission, however, my immune system was overwhelmed and drained.

After I was in remission, a “series of unfortunate events” happened. My family’s house was struck by lightning which led to a house fire. While we were rebuilding our house, I was diagnosed with Lyme’s which compromised my healing (diagnosed with Lyme’s 3x in 1 year). A few months later, LTD (Long-Term Disability) dropped my policy out-of-the-blue. Without money, I was unable to continue my immunotherapy treatments. I was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety off the charts and major depression. Our water pipes exploded and damaged our main level and basement. A large pine tree fell on our garage. Sigh…

After LTD dropped me, my work gave me an ultimatum to return or to be fired. I had no other choice but to return to work although my doctor and therapist cautioned that I was not ready to return for at least 4 more months

I had been a 9th grade licensed school counselor for many years. My school district went through major budget cuts that brought the high school school counseling department from 5 school counselors to only 3. With a caseload of 650 students and adding the grades 10-12, I was easily overwhelmed and my body became taxed and stressed.

Our high school also had two suicides this past year. I returned two weeks after the second suicide to find students, parents and staff that were suffering from these losses.

My body became worn down from the stress. My doctor scheduled me for an MRI due to pain in my breast area. When a suspicious mass was found, a follow-up ultrasound led to a biopsied tumor.

When I met with my doctor yesterday, I was not surprised the tumor was malignant.

Actually, I was relieved that my situation was not worse.

The secretary had mistakenly given me another patient’s paperwork with the diagnosis: Chronic leukemia. Whew! I am sooooo blessed with my breast cancer. My liver ultrasound checked out well and my blood work revealed the cancer was not in my bones.

A Return to Love

Life is good! If we look around, we will find someone who is worse off than us.

Be thankful and grateful for your diagnosis. This is a wake-up call!

What is your body telling you? In my case, my body is telling me to slow down, to alleviate stress, and to LOVE every cell of my body.

 

Heart with Bandages

Affirmation: I choose to learn through love. ~ Gabby Bernstein

 

Also, cancer is a disease of resentment. I need to continue to release deep-seeded and past resentments, anger, guilt, and shame from past relationships. This is easier said than done…which is why a skilled therapist is so important to include in your healing circle.

As The Truth About Cancer Founder, Ty Bollinger, shares, “Cancer is not a death sentence.” Instead, embrace your DIS-EASE, listen to your body, and love yourself.

I will be here right along with you as I walk through my second diagnosis sharing in my blogs what I learned from my first journey. These lessons will be applied with with love, rather than fear.

Let the healing journey begin!

Love and healing blessings,

Jackie

 

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